7 accused of divorce after 20 years of life
The head of the Divorce Reduction Working Group of the Social Affairs Organization said that many cases of couples with a 20-year history of living together are now on the path to divorce.
Khorasan newspaper wrote in an article with the following title: Usually the separation of couples occurs in the early years of their life together, but sometimes we see divorces with a history of more than 15 to 20 years of life together. Recently, the head of the Divorce Reduction Working Group of the Social Affairs Organization, citing many cases of couples with a 20-year history of living together who are now on the path to divorce, said: “There must be family protection for different people, because now we are witnessing families that after two Decades of cohabitation are looking for divorce today, so we have to manage the divorces of the next 10, 15 and 20 years.”
1- Unfulfillment of the couple's initial wishes
When two people get married with a lot of long-term hopes and dreams, they always seek to make them come true and spend all their strength and energy in this direction. When after 10, 15 or 20 years of living together, they are tired of these efforts and are disappointed to change the other party, they get angry and blame each other for this failure, so differences and stubbornness start and instead of peace If they are a part of each other, they will become a soul. In the meantime, the lack of empathy and mutual understanding is added to the cause, and both parties always feel that they are losers in this life and decide to separate.
2- Mid-life crisis and the departure of children
Some people have a crisis in their middle age and on the one hand, they see their past life as full of failure and waste, and on the other hand, they cannot cope with changes such as retirement and menopause, so they lose their mental peace. . A group also faces the phenomenon of an empty nest after their children leave, and they lose their hope and motivation to continue living. In this group, those who have had problems since the beginning of their lives and did not get divorced because of their children, are more vulnerable than others and feel that now that their children have grown up, they have actually lost the motivation to be together and it is better to separate.
3-Choosing an inappropriate spouse
Regardless of the people who are not suitable for marriage, if two people are not suitable for marriage based on scientific criteria, if they start living together, sooner or later the differences between them will reach an unbearable level; Therefore, it can be said that a mistake in choosing a spouse is one of the things that threatens the stability and durability of a common life; Therefore, if pre-marital counseling is considered as a priority of the family and relevant organizations and even becomes mandatory, two wrong people will be prevented from being together and future divorces will be practically prevented.
4- Weakness in ten life skills
One of the main causes of differences between couples of all ages is lack of knowledge about ten life skills. When a husband and wife do not know skills such as conversation skills, problem solving, decision-making, anger control, empathy, etc., they cannot solve the problems in the right ways, so the scope of their conflicts becomes wider day by day, and finally, They mistakenly see separation as the best solution.
5 Falling into the trap of social damage
Issues such as the unemployment of family members, especially the head of the household, economic problems, children's despair about the future, and sinister phenomena such as addiction and risky behaviors are also among the issues that contribute significantly to the collapse of families, because when the volume of various problems in the family increases, resilience It affects husbands and wives and they become aggressive and nervous. When people's mental health is damaged, they cannot be expected to behave rationally.
6 wrong passage from tradition to modernity
Another thing that these days has affected the quality of the couple's relationship is the transformation of the society from traditional life to modern life style in the global village. The lack of preparation of psychological, social, cultural and educational infrastructures among people in the society has caused the transition from tradition to modernity and the introduction of technologies used in the world to families, causing a turmoil and chaos, and many husbands and wives may feel defeated by comparing their lives. in life and lose hope. Such people feel unable to deal with problems and decide to separate.
7 Not using specialized consulting services
When the scope of incompatibility between husband and wife expands, the unprofessional and emotional comments of the people around and especially the interference of families cause the problems to intensify. In such cases, if the husband and wife use the expert advice of qualified people, they can greatly reduce the scope of disputes.
